Myakka River State Park, FL

2 Chicas and Myakka How High Are Ya?

2 Chicas heard a lot about Myakka River. We were told: “it is so beautiful.” “It is so much fun.” “You mean you’ve never been?” So after much chiding, 2 Chicas had to check it out for ourselves. Chica 2 decided a day trip just would not do the park justice; she wanted the added adventure of roughing it for two days. So camping it is for the 2 Chicas.

Myakka River is one of Florida's oldest and largest state parks.  It is a wildlife wonderland with photo opportunities at every turn of the road.

It is a 58 square mile Florida phenomenon. At different vantage points, Chica 2 squealed she felt like she was on the Serengeti Plain! 

At some point she became really worried that she would have a hard time getting back into the country without her passport.  Huh? Chica 1 dreamed of traveling down the river in a kayak, but after seeing the size of the alligators, she woke up! 

As we pulled into the campgrounds, the 2 Chicas quickly unpacked their gear and began to set up camp. Chica 1 plopped in a recliner (yes a camping recliner) and eventually realized she had to set up her gourmet kitchen.  

Chica 2, assumed her role as the tent master. Before you knew it, dinner was cooking, and Chica 2 was proudly circling her beautifully assembled Vacation Cottage like a predator looking for a weak link!  Chica 2 is a superior tent director, so none were found.

Chica 1 had a treat for the kids.  She told them that they were going to make magic. She gave them a little packet one at a time and told them to take turns tossing the packets into the fire. 

The little envelops turned the campfire flames into different colors. The kids really enjoyed screaming out “ooh that one is red; look at the blue; I see green; that is magenta!” Magenta?  Only Chica 2’s proper children!

Chica 2 brought fudge graham crackers for the kids to make Smores. As we concluded our dessert, there was the most peculiar feeling that something was watching us. The noises coming out of the forest reminded us that we were not in the city. 

Turkey vultures were landing their gigantic bodies on the palm trees, making a crashing kind of Jurrasic Park sound. 

No more songs around the campfire. It was a prehistoric ending to an otherwise modern camp evening!! That is until the no see ums started biting. 

So the 2 Chicas with kids in tow ran into the perfect tent for a restful evening. With the kids snuggled into their sleeping bags and watching bootleg movies (Chica 2 - who else? Just joking about the bootlegs. This is a figurative urban colloquialism). It was a fairy tale ending to a perfect day. Tee hee he

Chica 1 always has to have that late night bathroom break.Lawd! Chica 2 always worries that a blind possum will try to follow Chica 1 back to the tent thinking he has stumbled upon his perfect mate. Even with their keen sense of smell? Not sure what to think Chica 2. Tee hee he

Day two the 2 Chicas went to tour the Upper Myakka Lake with the park ranger. The vehicle of choice is one of the world's largest airboats, and the ride comes naturally with a fee. 

The trip down the river is very relaxing and informative. The guide points out different species of birds and tries to get the group as many up close alligator encounters as possible. 

We even had an alligator do a quick drive by on the boat. The curious reptile wove his way into the path of the airboat and after a swift yet somehow random bump, he quickly lost interest and drifted away.

Chica 2 mercifully took the children out for a nature hike and discovered the canopy walkway.  This area has a large watchtower and a neat suspension bridge. If you go to the top of the watchtower, you will have a panoramic view of the entire park. Chica 1 was using her alone time wisely by taking a power nap and enjoying the peace and quiet of the campground village.

That serenity was about to quickly change. Chica 2 and the kids were back with tall tales about their adventures on a nature trail. Our friendly neighbor to the east checked out and took his camper on a faraway adventure. 

About ten professionals and their children began moving in. The cars just kept coming and the pop up tents kept going up! Isn’t there a limit to the number of individuals on one camp lot?

As quickly as you could say – “you’re not in Kansas anymore!” Our peaceful journey turned into an Appalachians holler nightmare. Although it all started innocently enough….

Initially, the neighbors took all the kids on a scavenger hunt in the woods. The kids played together happily finding feathers and other forest delights. Dinner time came and peacefully went with no drama. As the sun began to set and find its replacement, the moon, assuming its position in the sky, the freak in the teachers came rolling out.

The children were quickly squirreled away into the tents to go to sleep while the adults sat around the campfire drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. Chica 1, returning from her normal nightly bathroom run, was even offered the opportunity to puff puff pass. What?  Uhhh, no thank you….

To make matters worse, after staying up until 2 in the morning sharing the most intimate stories, they left all their food out. That is, what food was left over after the many munchies breaks! Later, Chica 1 was awakened by the sound of an animal or two bumping against the tent as well as snorting noises. Now a few times our drunkard neighbors tripped over the tent stakes returning from the bathroom.

But something was different.  Chica 1 looked suspiciously over at Chica 2, blissfully asleep on her air mattress tucked tightly in her sleeping bag. Chica 1 then accusingly looked at the children down at the other end of the tent, but these grunting noises were outside.

The following morning, the 2 Chicas exited the tent to find the entire campsite had been trashed by wild boars rooting through the food left out by our inebriated neighbors! The feral hogs dragged the items around as if they had engaged in a mad food orgy! 

The 2 Chicas looked around in total disbelief.  Then we looked around for Courtney Love’s Tour Bus. Tee hee he What a way to ruin an otherwise wonderful camping experience.

Our sheepish neighbors coyly asked if they had misbehaved the previous evening. Chica 1 shared that she now knew far too much about each of them to have not been properly introduced.  While they profusely apologized, it is important to note they are entrusted with our most precious treasures on a daily basis. Lawd!!

It was time to bid farewell to our beautiful Myakka River. 2 Chicas also noticed that there are as many bike enthusiasts as there are hikers. Don’t forget to do some serious bird-watching. 

There is a neat little dam area with a mini pier for fishing and a nice boardwalk area for birdwatching. We saw two alligators having a picnic with a flock of turkey vultures and roseate spoonbills.  Only in Myakka!

Don’t let our camping experience deter you, but just in case, there are also cabins available. 2 Chicas has visited the park more than once to experience the versatile fun!